would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
