ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.