Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me http://tfl.nu/vizy
  Replies (38) Good night (6052) Bad night (793)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick http://tfl.nu/wbrv
  Replies (38) Good night (5331) Bad night (1792)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (801): I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion. http://tfl.nu/ntse
  Replies (28) Good night (11039) Bad night (1344)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (970): you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you. http://tfl.nu/kcuf
  Replies (12) Good night (2345) Bad night (3389)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown. http://tfl.nu/l3ul
  Replies (49) Good night (2289) Bad night (5342)
• Favorite

  (862): View more from New Jersey

  You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (862): You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night http://tfl.nu/zmqw
  Replies (3) Good night (1728) Bad night (531)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (509): walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her. http://tfl.nu/knz9
  Replies (9) Good night (5743) Bad night (670)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (205): First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined. http://tfl.nu/ei07
  Replies (4) Good night (1575) Bad night (1039)
• Favorite

  (229): View more from Georgia

  Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (229): Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing? http://tfl.nu/q7mi
  Replies (6) Good night (2009) Bad night (972)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (613): have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics? http://tfl.nu/lk3z
  Replies (7) Good night (1391) Bad night (619)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes. 

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (406): Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.  http://tfl.nu/b2xf
  Replies (2) Good night (1032) Bad night (522)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though

  (1-781): View more from Massachusetts

  21st birthday = success

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (781): you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though (1-781): 21st birthday = success http://tfl.nu/y3qn
  Replies (8) Good night (1582) Bad night (514)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection http://tfl.nu/50lp
  Replies (7) Good night (1320) Bad night (513)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (419): you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there http://tfl.nu/8eig
  Replies (0) Good night (311) Bad night (487)
• Favorite

  (574): View more from Indiana

  I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (574): I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here... (614): Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine http://tfl.nu/936x
  Replies (1) Good night (796) Bad night (276)

Randomize