He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
