you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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