Texts From Last Night

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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back

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  (617): but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back http://tfl.nu/ogq4
  Replies (30) Good night (925) Bad night (2252)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.

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  (407): I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done. http://tfl.nu/92fz
  Replies (4) Good night (2938) Bad night (596)
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  (858): View more from California

  Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere

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  (858): Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere http://tfl.nu/0d9e
  Replies (10) Good night (3781) Bad night (796)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive

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  (814): Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive http://tfl.nu/97qq
  Replies (3) Good night (2506) Bad night (871)
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  (510): View more from California

  I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.

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  (510): I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life. http://tfl.nu/v2uu
  Replies (5) Good night (1101) Bad night (2640)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.

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  (843): Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week. http://tfl.nu/axd2
  Replies (15) Good night (4046) Bad night (1318)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood

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  (402): Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place (402): This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded (402): Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood http://tfl.nu/jep5
  Replies (8) Good night (1678) Bad night (723)
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  (661): View more from California

  Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.

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  (661): Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode. http://tfl.nu/t52r
  Replies (18) Good night (675) Bad night (1455)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny

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  (515): you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny http://tfl.nu/4raj
  Replies (4) Good night (2121) Bad night (587)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.

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  (678): doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life. http://tfl.nu/o38i
  Replies (15) Good night (581) Bad night (1495)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.

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  (507): I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins. http://tfl.nu/raw5
  Replies (7) Good night (743) Bad night (1012)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.

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  (210): Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it. http://tfl.nu/xm4g
  Replies (4) Good night (1581) Bad night (612)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text

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  (404): also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text http://tfl.nu/b0kp
  Replies (3) Good night (328) Bad night (492)
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  (619): View more from California

  She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.

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  (619): She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it. http://tfl.nu/d8em
  Replies (1) Good night (849) Bad night (174)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned

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  (214): hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned http://tfl.nu/ixc1
  Replies (2) Good night (401) Bad night (176)

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