12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.