My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
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had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
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My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?