Texts From Last Night

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  (818): View more from California

  he got wood on it!

  (408): View more from California

  i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.

  (818): View more from California

  ...i was talking about hockey

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  (818): he got wood on it! (408): i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals. (818): ...i was talking about hockey http://tfl.nu/alxf
  Replies (3) Good night (889) Bad night (1034)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang

  (1-617): View more from Massachusetts

  ru fi oooo

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  (617): i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang (1-617): ru fi oooo http://tfl.nu/syl6
  Replies (71) Good night (5309) Bad night (796)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.

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  (503): Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account. http://tfl.nu/dorm
  Replies (25) Good night (1269) Bad night (3526)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly

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  (443): I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly http://tfl.nu/9fzw
  Replies (11) Good night (5842) Bad night (1450)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend

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  (309): They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend http://tfl.nu/32kc
  Replies (2) Good night (2357) Bad night (771)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon

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  (720): Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon http://tfl.nu/1u8n
  Replies (12) Good night (4194) Bad night (1094)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.

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  (208): the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player. http://tfl.nu/khif
  Replies (7) Good night (864) Bad night (2007)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU

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  (202): is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU http://tfl.nu/sbbn
  Replies (8) Good night (1202) Bad night (709)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.

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  (208): Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind. http://tfl.nu/wqhb
  Replies (4) Good night (1129) Bad night (530)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.

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  (570): Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it. http://tfl.nu/4zf0
  Replies (4) Good night (760) Bad night (494)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness

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  (615): A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness http://tfl.nu/k0cp
  Replies (1) Good night (629) Bad night (391)
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.

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  (510): Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day. http://tfl.nu/eul1
  Replies (2) Good night (522) Bad night (402)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now

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  (310): You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now http://tfl.nu/lg51
  Replies (1) Good night (411) Bad night (645)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.

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  (360): Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits. http://tfl.nu/3dqo
  Replies (5) Good night (1583) Bad night (383)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.

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  (415): I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that. http://tfl.nu/qfu4
  Replies (0) Good night (472) Bad night (132)

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