please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
