big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
