They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
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