she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
you win again, gameday.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
