Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
