Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
