The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
