never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Randomize
