shes about as inviting as chlamydia
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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