two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
