Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
