Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize