They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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