Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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