If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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