ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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