thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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