Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
