I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
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