whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
