Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
