He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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