You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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