I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize