my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize