I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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