Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I need to calm my uterus...
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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