there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
