I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
