hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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