I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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