Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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