There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
