I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
