what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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