hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize