bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
