I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
