At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
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