i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
