she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
