There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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