if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
