Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
