sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
