i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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