yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
She's like a pop up book from hell.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
