he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
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