Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Randomize
