that's an acceptable place to lick
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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