well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
