I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
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