Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
