"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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