Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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