I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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