party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
