Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize